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They come and they go unless you…

July 16, 2012


They come. They go.

Some we remember really well and others we don’t.

Some of my fondest memories were of my grandmother waking me every July 16th with a half English, half Spanish birthday song from her tape player. It was usually quite early so it was a true “wake up” call (yawn) but one I looked forward to with great pride. She was, after all, celebrating ME. Talk about muscle memory. I still feel this kind of love and life the eve and actual day of my birthday.

My grandmother started something quite good, I must say, and it’s now a tradition I’ve passed on to my son. In fact, he told me just the other day to not wake him up so early (his birthday is in two days) and with a knowing smile I said “Ok” yet I know this is a HUGE part of why he will love this tradition later. I know I’m building not only our relationship in celebrating him in a unique way but I’m also growing his self-esteem and confidence. He is me, many moons ago…

And this is really what I wanted to pass along today…how much others play a role in us having a solid relationship with ourselves. Having a better relationship with self starts with solidifying our relationships with others. That’s where we learn. And, truth is this is how we learn (and fall hard) towards more and more true conscious-living. We do it by creating and keeping relationships with others.

Being in relationship is the seesaw in life that keeps us in check towards the most fun version of life we can have…if we really, really listen. In practicing compassion, kindness and the many other nifty tricks we humans have up our sleeves, we grow our ability and muscle to love and experience kindness, lasting kindness, with ourselves.

All that fine-tuning we do with others is critical for contentment because it can be the path to learning how to do it for ourselves. This includes making new friends, keeping old friends and, yes, even painfully and almost rhythmically letting go of friends all in the name of reaching ourselves.

And I suppose it makes sense, yes? We come from our Mother. We are born of relationship. And I’ve never been more convinced of this fact: the two things we want most of all is to be more ourselves and to be connected in true, celebratory relationship with others.

Even if it’s not your day of birth, take your most curious approach with that next phone call or visit. And if that call or visit happens to be with your grandmother, stay another few minutes than you were expecting to, as I’m sure she’ll want you to anyway…

What you consistently practice with others you will likely practice more of with yourself.


  1. denise permalink

    Wonderfully insightful and true. Happy b-day my fellow Cancerian moon sister!

  2. Very well said! I love that idea of waking up your son early to celebrate him in a unique way! My children would love that…I’m going to try it! 🙂

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